By: Chalene Johnson
An outstanding life is not an accident. What does it take to live life the way that makes the most sense to you? What does it take to have a fulfilling career and smile inside because you can’t believe how good things are? The formula: Preparation, attitude, planning and thoughtful navigation. Though many good fortunes in my life are the result of dumb luck, I can plainly credit my accomplishments to careful preparation and an “unshakeable” positive attitude.
Too often we keep ourselves busy with all the things we “need” to do. Sometimes we let our own ability to “do it all” kidnap our ability to enjoy an outstanding life. We say yes to too much and “I’m sorry, I just don’t have the room on my plate at the moment” to too little. Most often this happens when we forget to consult “our life plan”.
What’s your life plan? What’s your dream kid? Do you know? Who have you told? Is it clearly defined and written on paper or scribbled in lip liner on a lint covered post-it-note on the bottom of your purse?
Are you living your life as a passenger or a driver? If you haven’t clarified your priorities on paper or if you’ve never written down your goals, you may be an unsuspecting passenger (without a seatbelt I might add!). List, on paper, not in your head, the areas of your life that hold the greatest importance to you. List the top 5 in order. Some examples might be health, family, collect more shoes, career, spirituality, finances, leisure/hobbies, fitness, other people’s perception, animal rights, helping others or some other category that holds great personal importance.
Those who live from day to day devoid of a plan, a pecking order, a map, those who live without clearly defining what is most important to them, do so at catastrophic risk. As a result they marry the wrong person, waste years in unfulfilling jobs, worry about what unimportant people might think of them and spend years feeling as though they were meant to be doing something different, but they don’t know what. Those, whom lack this life blueprint, though seemingly perfect on the outside and abundantly busy, actually feel confused, uncertain, unhappy and overwhelmed.
Is that you? Were you meant to read these words today? Do you know clearly what is important to you and in what order? Most of us think we have a grip on our goals and values. Yet, until you’ve written them down and given them considerable thought they overlap and clutter the space like a studio apartment filled with too much IKEA. Those who have not taken the time to rank their values and simplify their lives struggle for days, weeks, months and sometimes years with decisions that would have been otherwise obvious.
Without a steadfast plan the busyness of our lives creates a smokescreen, an illusion that we are living a full existence. We must be living the life we wanted, right? We are the ones who agreed to do all these things, right?
I have two simple theories that will help you map your course for this wonderful life. I know… I’m not the first to figure this out! I’m just telling you what I’ve learned. Henry David Thoreau once said, “Our life is frittered away by detail... Simplify, simplify, simplify! ... Simplicity of life and elevation of purpose.” A few years back I asked my son Brock, now that football season was over, if he wanted to play basketball and baseball like he did last Spring. His answer was nearly as prophetic as Thoreau, “How about just one. Doing too many things might give me a headache. I’ll just play basketball.” You ain’t kiddin’ kid! (Now I tried not to appear overly ecstatic, but inside I was screaming with joy, doing the hip hop happy dance that only a mom who has endured countless torturously boring t-ball and baseball games and practices could understand).
Step One: Clarify to simplify.
You can’t simplify until you’ve clarified that which is most important to you. Most everyone knows that when I grow up I plan to host my own talk show where I can help people find the right gadgets and gizmos, get the life and fitness on track and speak girlfriend to girlfriend with frank advice. Now that’s the end result and I’m pecking away at my (carefully crafted and diligently maintained) CCDM task list to accomplish that big goal when the timing is right. The timing has to be right according to my family’s needs, not mine. You see, my family ranks above my career… by a landslide. That’s what works for me. What works for you? Be honest with yourself. Prioritize according to your own beliefs, not the imposed beliefs of others. If your kids are higher on your list than “spirituality” then next time you are faced with skipping prayer group or missing a T-ball game, the decision is easy. If your career ranks higher in your list of priorities at this time than your health, then the decision to skip the gym and stay late to impress “The Donald” is a no-brainer. So when several years ago I was offered the opportunity to interview for a television show that would take me away from my family for about 12 weeks, I politely declined. You can make new opportunities for yourself whenever you need to. Nothing I can do, can roll back the time you’d like to have spent with your children.
Of course a nice balance of all your priorities is always key.
Step Two: Plan your outstanding life.
Commit to investing time to plan your life. How much time? How does 5 minutes sound? Spend a minimum of 5 minutes everyday creating the foundation of your daily to-do list, or what I like to call a carefully crafted and diligently maintained to-do list. Write out and prioritize things you need or wish to accomplish for the day, the week…the month. Every 6 months revisit your plans for the year and for the future. Review your written ideas with your spouse, a best friend or the person you most respect. Put them in writing. Transfer your plans to your smart phone. This is an important concept, so, if you haven’t gotten the hint: WRITE IT DOWN OR IT DOESN’T WORK! Go back and check your list a minimum of 5 to 10 times a day. It’s no big deal. It’s on your phone. This isn’t Facebook, this is your life! It’s so funny to me that people check their emails, voicemails, Facebook, and text messages more than they check their to-do list. Huh? Whatever. It’s cool. Just makes world domination easy for the rest of us ;) Can’t say I didn’t at least try to share the secret with you!
People assume my life must be out of control busy. It’s not. It’s exactly the way I have planned it to be. I might pretend I’m super busy so that people don’t ask me to do 10,000 things that I don’t want to have to say no to, but I’m as busy as I like to be. I’m focused, on task. I’m doing the things I wish to do, with the people I wish to do them with. I dictate my schedule. My schedule allows me to be my best and deliver on my promises to those most important. I do things that give me joy.
People are always surprised to learn that I teach nearly everyday of the week. Even if I had Oprah’s money I would find a way to teach fitness classes. It’s my drug. It’s my high. It’s fat free and I won’t do jail time for having this addiction. No matter how tempting it is to say, “Yes” to some obligations, I will first take care of my obligation to my family. I happen to believe that taking care of my family means taking care of my marriage. Honesty, love, respect and shared interests have been our secret sauce. These things take work. Our worlds are not separate. We work to keep them entwined. We can talk about the same people, the same triumphs, the same tribulations, because we make sacrifices to be on the journey together. Sure we want to kill each other from time to time, but it always ends with great make-up sex and we have enough self-control and respect for children not to jeopardize our relationship by saying hurtful things in the heat of the moment. It takes work. It takes balance.
An outstanding life never happens by accident. It is the result of mapping a course for your life and making key decisions on the difficult stuff that keeps you up at night, while using your core values as a compass.
To read more from my newly co-authored book “The Code” follow this link: http://bit.ly/7Ozb7
To purchase my lecture series teaching you step-by-step how to create and maintain a task list that will simplify and change your life forever, click here http://bit.ly/gti89
Hang out with me on Twitter at http://www.twitter.com/chalenejohnsonor
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Need to put a face and a voice to the words.. check out my YouTube lecture clips...Lecture Series http://tinyurl.com/my-lectures
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Thursday, August 27, 2009
Monday, August 24, 2009
YUMMY MONDAYS: PROTEIN COOKIES
I have gotten a bunch of peeps asking me for the recipe of the protein cookies I have been talking about, I wish I could take credit for these super yummy cookies!! So instead I will pass on all the info on where to get these crazy good protein cookies.
Tri-O-Plex Protein Cookies
http://www.proteinshop.com
They come in six flavors and they give volume discounts on orders.
And here is a little more about the cookies:
http://www.proteinshop.com
They come in six flavors and they give volume discounts on orders.
And here is a little more about the cookies:
Tri-O-Plex super protein cookie. Not another trumped-up cookie made by a confectionary candy company, but a true nutritious cookie made by a real chef. These cookies provide the high-quality protein you need along with healthy dietary fats and slow-digesting carbohydrates to really keep you satisfied for hours. Perfect as an in-between-meals snack or as a small meal replacement.
CHOCOLATE CHIP
Serving Size: 1 Cookie
Supplement Facts: (Per Serving/% Daily Value)
Calories: 145, Protein: 10 grams (18%), Total Fat: 5 grams (8%), Saturated Fat: 3 grams (14%), Trans Fat: 0 grams, Cholesterol: 30 mg (10%), Sodium: 130 mg (6%), Total Carbohydrates: 15 grams (5%), Dietary Fiber: Less than 1 gram (4%), Sugars: 11 grams. Vitamin A (8%), Vitamin C (0%), Calcium (2%), Iron (16%).
Wednesday, August 19, 2009
Five Simple Steps to lead a Happier Life
By Chalene Johnson
1. BE THANKFUL. Make a list of 10 things you are most thankful for in your life today. Post this list on your bathroom mirror. Start your day by putting in focus those things that you have to be thankful for. Forget about what you don’t have, once had, or wish you had. Be thankful for the many blessings you do have. Put this list on paper. The act of handwriting this list will dramatically change your perspective.
2. PRACTICE BEING HAPPY. No one likes a grump! Becoming a happy person takes practice for some, but the rewards are endless. The single greatest choice you have is to choose to be a happier, less stressed individual.
Happy people are more likely to be bumped up to first class when they fly. They win the favor of those who “hold the power.” They are more likely to be promoted, receive kind gestures, room upgrades, free stuff, flowers from their spouse, and compliments from strangers. They laugh harder, have fewer wrinkles, and make other people smile in their presence.
3. BE KIND TO PEOPLE. It may sound strange, but I remember feeling happy just a couple of weeks after September 11, 2001. Looking back, I now realize it was because for about a month, strangers were kind to strangers. Life's pace slowed. Whiners stopped complaining. We waited patiently in lines and even offered to let others “cut” ahead of us. We held the elevator door and waited patiently for the person driving ahead of us to notice the light had turned green. We met our neighbors. We were nice to each other. Being kind when things are going your way is easy. Being kind when things aren't going your way is a true test of character.
4. GIVE COMPLIMENTS FREELY. The only thing that feels better than getting a compliment is, perhaps, giving one. A woman in her late 70s stood behind me in the grocery store. I turned and noticed how stunningly put together she looked. She wore a beautiful hat (I so love it when women wear big hats), a yellow patent leather purse, matching patent leather shoes, a strand of pearls, and perfectly styled hair. I smiled at her and said, "You look absolutely beautiful today." She grabbed my wrist tightly and with tears in her eyes replied, "My husband died a year ago today. He was the last person to say those words to me." Giving her that compliment was like giving myself a gift. I have told that story many times and each time I feel a rush of gratitude.
5. SPEND MORE TIME WITH YOUR FAMILY. Learn to say "I'm sorry, I have to decline." There's nothing more important than your close friends and family. Commit to giving up one not-so-important activity that is currently eating up your precious time and replacing it with family or friend time. You'll never regret it. People often ask me why I don't produce more workouts, do more than one Camp Turbo, or make more out-of-state appearances. The reason is I've learned to put limits on my work so I can be with my family. At the end of your life, you won't wish you had volunteered for more “projects” or worked more hours, you'll wish you had more time to spend with the people who matter.
Thanks for reading!
Chalene
Major 72 hr sale at www.turbokick.com including all my fitness DVDs
If you've read a great self improvement book, please leave your post here! If you enjoyed reading my blog, please subscribe to be notified of more and take a peak at previous entries from previous months.
Hang out with me on Twitter at http://www.twitter.com/chalenejohnsonor
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Need to put a face and a voice to the words.. check out my youtube lecture clips...Lecture Serieshttp://tinyurl.com/my-lectures
1. BE THANKFUL. Make a list of 10 things you are most thankful for in your life today. Post this list on your bathroom mirror. Start your day by putting in focus those things that you have to be thankful for. Forget about what you don’t have, once had, or wish you had. Be thankful for the many blessings you do have. Put this list on paper. The act of handwriting this list will dramatically change your perspective.
2. PRACTICE BEING HAPPY. No one likes a grump! Becoming a happy person takes practice for some, but the rewards are endless. The single greatest choice you have is to choose to be a happier, less stressed individual.
Happy people are more likely to be bumped up to first class when they fly. They win the favor of those who “hold the power.” They are more likely to be promoted, receive kind gestures, room upgrades, free stuff, flowers from their spouse, and compliments from strangers. They laugh harder, have fewer wrinkles, and make other people smile in their presence.
3. BE KIND TO PEOPLE. It may sound strange, but I remember feeling happy just a couple of weeks after September 11, 2001. Looking back, I now realize it was because for about a month, strangers were kind to strangers. Life's pace slowed. Whiners stopped complaining. We waited patiently in lines and even offered to let others “cut” ahead of us. We held the elevator door and waited patiently for the person driving ahead of us to notice the light had turned green. We met our neighbors. We were nice to each other. Being kind when things are going your way is easy. Being kind when things aren't going your way is a true test of character.
4. GIVE COMPLIMENTS FREELY. The only thing that feels better than getting a compliment is, perhaps, giving one. A woman in her late 70s stood behind me in the grocery store. I turned and noticed how stunningly put together she looked. She wore a beautiful hat (I so love it when women wear big hats), a yellow patent leather purse, matching patent leather shoes, a strand of pearls, and perfectly styled hair. I smiled at her and said, "You look absolutely beautiful today." She grabbed my wrist tightly and with tears in her eyes replied, "My husband died a year ago today. He was the last person to say those words to me." Giving her that compliment was like giving myself a gift. I have told that story many times and each time I feel a rush of gratitude.
5. SPEND MORE TIME WITH YOUR FAMILY. Learn to say "I'm sorry, I have to decline." There's nothing more important than your close friends and family. Commit to giving up one not-so-important activity that is currently eating up your precious time and replacing it with family or friend time. You'll never regret it. People often ask me why I don't produce more workouts, do more than one Camp Turbo, or make more out-of-state appearances. The reason is I've learned to put limits on my work so I can be with my family. At the end of your life, you won't wish you had volunteered for more “projects” or worked more hours, you'll wish you had more time to spend with the people who matter.
Thanks for reading!
Chalene
Major 72 hr sale at www.turbokick.com including all my fitness DVDs
If you've read a great self improvement book, please leave your post here! If you enjoyed reading my blog, please subscribe to be notified of more and take a peak at previous entries from previous months.
Hang out with me on Twitter at http://www.twitter.com/chalenejohnsonor
Facebook http://www.facebook.com/chalenejohnson
Need to put a face and a voice to the words.. check out my youtube lecture clips...Lecture Serieshttp://tinyurl.com/my-lectures
Friday, August 14, 2009
Creating Balance Between Fitness and Family
By Chalene Johnson
Look in the sky! It’s a bird! It’s a plane! No, it’s Super Fitness Parent! As the kids return from school, this dynamic super hero straps on the red cape and attacks multitasking. With the strength of Clark Kent and the grace of Wonder Woman, Super Fitness Parent is willing to leap tall homework assignments in a single bound and create choreography and cupcakes with the greatest of ease. Our Super Hero is an administrative assistant by day and fitness fanatic by night. This parent’s energy is spellbinding! A child under each arm, an Ipod in hand, Super Fitness Parent speeds off to the club to escape the grips of inactivity. Our Hero pours heart and soul into a room of 25 fellow fitness devotees; who faithfully frequent this club 5 nights a week. After 2 hours of perfecting her finely chiseled physique, make-up still intact, she calmly returns home; eager to prepare dinner for four, return e-mails, voicemails, facebooks, tweets and overdue library books. Between courses she wields a paper mache solar system, and then bathes, dresses, reads to, and tucks the children in bed. She folds three loads of laundry, scrubs the kitchen floor, whitens her teeth, prepares backpacks, lunches, and music for tomorrow’s fitness adventures and joins her husband in the bedroom, where he has just sprinkled rose petals in the frothy bubbles of her bath. She is Super Fitness Parent and contrary to urban legend, she does NOT exist.
As a mere mortal, does your attempt to maintain a peaceful balance between family and fitness look a little less harmonious? Are you wracked with guilt when your fitness obligations interfere with family time? Do you regularly feel stressed, pulled in countless directions, or overwhelmed trying to maintain balance between obligations of work, fitness and family?
Balance. What does it mean to have balance in your life? Is it possible to do it all and keep everything in balance? Imagine a gymnast on a balance beam. You can picture her with eyes fixed on one spot, they’re focused, yet in constant motion; while shifting weight from side to side, teetering, moving and making tiny adjustments to counteract the pull of gravity. That visual alone reminds us that the act of maintaining balance requires we make constant adjustments, be focused, yet remain flexible.
All of us want and hope for balance. But doing “it all” means something, and sometimes everything, will suffer a little. Balance is to understand and rate what things are important and what things you should let slide. Happily married for 14 plus years, I’m a mother of two young children, a friend, a daughter, a chauffer, choreographer, business woman, author, clothing designer, program director and fitness professional. Regularly someone asks me, “How do you do it all?” I always reply, “I don’t”. I do those things that I deem best support my family and weigh all decisions against that mark first. I used to feel “inadequate” if someone dropped by home unexpectedly and it was not in perfect order. Then my father-in law, in his tell-it-like-it-is wisdom assured me, “You raise a family, not a house.” I love it! For me, that one comment took the pressure off. It gave me the permission to relax and put my priorities into perspective. If it comes to it, I will miss a deadline at work before I miss a football game. I will disappoint a “fan” who really doesn’t know me, before I would dream of disappointing my child. As much as each and every opportunity dangled in front of me might feed my ego, my first obligation is to make sure my family knows they are more important than all the money, fame or approval in the world. For me, what my family thinks of me is more important than the admiration of people who probably won’t remember me 10 years from now. Perfection in all areas of life doesn’t exist. Balance is the most we can hope for. Without truly identifying what is important to you, it is difficult to achieve balance.
I’ve applied this “healthy balance” concept to my own life and work. It’s a vision that as a business owner I work to instill in my employees. I know what works best for me, but I was curious to see what tips other multitasking fitness professionals might have, including those without children. So I went to a few individuals who I most admire for their commitment to balance and asked for their tips. Granted, you may not recognize their names, but at the moment they’re willing to trade international name recognition for harmony. Aside from their tips, I found two really reassuring bits of news I want to pass along to you: 1. Symmetry is within your reach and 2. Anything you want to do, you can and should when the time is right. Here are some practical tips to aid you in evaluating, creating and maintaining balance.
1. Prioritize, in writing, the most important areas of your life based on your current situation. So many skip this all-important first step or fail to re-visit this question on a regular basis. Though you may believe you have prioritized your values, goals or agendas in your mind; to list them on paper helps to clarify their order and re-evaluate your activities. Our top priority is often easy to identify, it’s numbers 2, 3 and 4 priorities that sometimes over-lap in our minds and fluctuate depending on changing circumstances. Writing down your priorities makes it easier to navigate tough decisions. Julie Voris, an Instructor in Carmel, Indiana said, “I feel blessed to work in fitness. I give my all each time I teach, but my family has to come first. My girls will only be young for a short time. Because I recognize that I no longer teach afternoon classes. I prefer to teach mornings while all my girls are in school, and be there when they return. I keep afternoons free to volunteer in their classrooms. It’s tempting to want to teach those primetime classes and consider other opportunities. I remind myself that when my girls are older new opportunities will be there.”
As circumstances change, so too will your priorities and therefore should your schedule. Any shift in circumstances, work-load, family, finances, health, etc. should require you revisit your written list of priorities. For many, the recent loss of a job or a portion of income has necessitated a return to the work force. Be flexible when tough times require it.
2. Create a calendar or list of your regularly scheduled activities. List everything, including leisure time and sleep. Closely estimate the amount of total time each activity requires. For example, when listing a class or client, be sure to include set-up, cleanup and drive time.
3. Star those activities that support one or all of your top 2 or 3 priorities. These are the items we should fight to keep on our list and maybe add more!
4. Underline neutral activities. Neutral activities are those which neither take from nor support your priorities. Some examples of neutral activities might include Saturday morning coffee with your girlfriends, art class, watching television, surfing the internet, training for a marathon or a fitness competition etc. These are activities that you could give up if needed, but should be evaluated for their “peace of mind” value. Never underestimate the refueling power of mindless down time or time pursuing your joy, something few A-type personalities allow for.
5. Next, boldly circle the activities or obligations that contradict your present order of priorities. This is going to take some courage. In some instances, it takes a non-objective 3rd party. Here's a personal example; One of my weekly activities was a late evening class at a club 35 minutes away, at a rate of pay far less than I normally earned. I had the class for years and felt that the students, who had become my friends, would “perish” if I gave up the class. Even though my obligations as Mom were tugging at me, I felt I'd be letting everyone down if I gave up the class. I kept thinking of the few friends who had recently joined the club just for that one class. I was keeping this self imposed obligation out of guilt, a sense of pride
and to be honest, ego gratification! It took a friend to point out that by keeping the class I was actually hurting my young family in terms of loss of time with them, loss of income and the increased stress that it caused by knowingly staying in the circumstance. Giving up that class was far less painful than I imagined. Much to my surprise, not even one student "died". In fact, it’s rumored that life went on and they eventually fell in love with a new instructor.
Now, when I personally struggle with the decision to get a sub or give up a class I remind myself that at the end of my life, it will be my family at my bedside, not my Saturday morning Turbo class.
6. Make an "Immediate Action" To- Do List: Each item which you bravely circled now needs to be removed. These aren’t areas that you’re going to “try to do better”. It’s time to take specific action. There are no ifs, ands, or buts about it. The change doesn't have to be permanent, but it should be immediate. If the act of relinquishing responsibility, inconveniencing others, or change has you frozen in your tracks, look at your top three priorities and find the courage to endure a few uncomfortable moments for lasting piece of mind. Jenelle Summers, Team Beachbody Coach, Fitness instructor and Music Coordinator for Powder Blue Productions from Toledo, Ohio realized immediate action was needed if she was going to continue teaching after her son started school. “Rushing to pick up my son from school, only to go straight to the club for a class made me feel stressed and my son began acting out, which made matters even worse. I’m not a morning person, but I was convinced that it would be in the best interest of my son to teach early morning classes. I called my coordinator the next day and began replacing my evening classes with 6:00 a.m. workouts. Even though I thought I would never see my fitness friends, many of them made the shift with me. I feel so much better about doing what I love and that my family doesn’t have to pay the price.”
7. Make a "Transitional" To-Do list: Sometimes changes should be gradual. If, for example, your number one priority is to quit your current job and work a full-time fitness career; quitting your "day job" tomorrow might make it tough to fork over the car payment at the end of the month. Consider a gradual transition. Speak to your employer about the possibility of working just 5-10 less hours per week. If that's not an option, propose a flexible work schedule that allows you to do personal training or pursue fitness opportunities during prime time hours. When I first moved to California I was working 40 to 50 hours a week at my "day" job. I felt unmotivated, uninterested and overworked. It was causing me major stress and the inability to grow my personal training business. Though I knew it was a stretch, I convinced my employers to allow me to try a flex schedule and work 10 less hours per week. They agreed. The part time hours allowed me to pursue a career in health and fitness, without losing all of my income, while I built my fitness business. Because of that transition, my personal, professional, spiritual and financial life has flourished.
8. Openly communicate your priorities with others. This serves as both a constant reminder to yourself and a means of personal accountability. In communicating your priorities, you also establish your boundaries. "I openly express my priorities so those who I work with always know and respect where I am coming from." Barbara Brodowsky, group exercise instructor for YMCA, Lancaster, CA. Not only does this keep you accountable, put people are clear about your direction and will refrain from pressuring you to do things outside of your priorities.
9. Take cues from the people closest to you: Sometimes we are too close to a situation to be able to make clear decisions. Listen to the questions and comments of those you most trust and admire. Has your significant other suggested that you look tired, seem distant, stressed or stretched too thin? Has more than one friend suggested you lighten your load or spend less time working out? Have you seen a change in the behavior or mood of one or more family members? Projects consultant for AFAA and Powder Blue Productions, Amy Nestor agrees, "When every day begins to feel hectic, rushed, and stressful and my mind feels like it's racing, I know it's time to take a look at what I'm doing. I also take cues from my family. When my normally happy son seems cranky, needy and unruly, I now recognize that he is responding to feelings he's picking up from me."
9.
10. Practice saying, “Can I get back to you on that?” If you know you should say “No” more often, yet find yourself saying, “Yes” just to be accommodating, try using “Thanks for thinking of me! Can I get back to you on that?" Just a few days will give you the time you need to evaluate the opportunity to see how it fits with your priorities and if need be, politely decline.
11. Identify, and then remove your balance blockers. All of us have self-imposed balance blockers. These are deep rooted feelings that keep us in unhealthy or stressful situations based on fear or insecurities, like the need to please, misplaced guilt, fear of rejection, false appearances, believing that you’re supposed to be able to "do it all", perfectionism and more. These items will inhibit your ability to make sound decisions; decisions based on “your” life’s priorities.
Here’s a sample list of priorities:
1. Time with the kids and especially hubby
2. Reduce debt and decrease monthly spending
3. Transition to a full time personal trainer or fitness coach
4. Help my family become more centered around healthy living
5. Spend more time writing
Warning: Out of Balance
Signs that may signify your life is out of balance:
• Insomnia
• Racing thoughts
• Over or under eating
• Stress and Irritability
• Moodiness
• Forgetfulness
• Headaches
• Nighttime teeth grinding
• Compulsive behaviors
• Loneliness
Most commonly sited ways to
Immediately reduce stress:
• Keep a carefully crafted diligently maintained to-do list
• Restructure unnecessary activities
• Give up obligations or activities you dread
• Get additional sleep
• Let your guard down
• Approach others with forgiveness and love
• Refocus priorities
• Shift classes/clients/personal workouts to least impact the family
• Shift to part-time hours
• Let go of the pursuit of perfection
Thanks for reading!
Chalene
If you've read a great self improvement book, please leave your post here! If you enjoyed reading my blog, please subscribe to be notified of more and take a peak at previous entries from previous months.
Hang out with me on Twitter at http://www.twitter.com/chalenejohnson
or facebook http://www.facebook.com/chalenejohnson
Need to put a face and a voice to the words.. check out my youtube lecture clips...
Lecture Series
http://tinyurl.com/my-lectures
Look in the sky! It’s a bird! It’s a plane! No, it’s Super Fitness Parent! As the kids return from school, this dynamic super hero straps on the red cape and attacks multitasking. With the strength of Clark Kent and the grace of Wonder Woman, Super Fitness Parent is willing to leap tall homework assignments in a single bound and create choreography and cupcakes with the greatest of ease. Our Super Hero is an administrative assistant by day and fitness fanatic by night. This parent’s energy is spellbinding! A child under each arm, an Ipod in hand, Super Fitness Parent speeds off to the club to escape the grips of inactivity. Our Hero pours heart and soul into a room of 25 fellow fitness devotees; who faithfully frequent this club 5 nights a week. After 2 hours of perfecting her finely chiseled physique, make-up still intact, she calmly returns home; eager to prepare dinner for four, return e-mails, voicemails, facebooks, tweets and overdue library books. Between courses she wields a paper mache solar system, and then bathes, dresses, reads to, and tucks the children in bed. She folds three loads of laundry, scrubs the kitchen floor, whitens her teeth, prepares backpacks, lunches, and music for tomorrow’s fitness adventures and joins her husband in the bedroom, where he has just sprinkled rose petals in the frothy bubbles of her bath. She is Super Fitness Parent and contrary to urban legend, she does NOT exist.
As a mere mortal, does your attempt to maintain a peaceful balance between family and fitness look a little less harmonious? Are you wracked with guilt when your fitness obligations interfere with family time? Do you regularly feel stressed, pulled in countless directions, or overwhelmed trying to maintain balance between obligations of work, fitness and family?
Balance. What does it mean to have balance in your life? Is it possible to do it all and keep everything in balance? Imagine a gymnast on a balance beam. You can picture her with eyes fixed on one spot, they’re focused, yet in constant motion; while shifting weight from side to side, teetering, moving and making tiny adjustments to counteract the pull of gravity. That visual alone reminds us that the act of maintaining balance requires we make constant adjustments, be focused, yet remain flexible.
All of us want and hope for balance. But doing “it all” means something, and sometimes everything, will suffer a little. Balance is to understand and rate what things are important and what things you should let slide. Happily married for 14 plus years, I’m a mother of two young children, a friend, a daughter, a chauffer, choreographer, business woman, author, clothing designer, program director and fitness professional. Regularly someone asks me, “How do you do it all?” I always reply, “I don’t”. I do those things that I deem best support my family and weigh all decisions against that mark first. I used to feel “inadequate” if someone dropped by home unexpectedly and it was not in perfect order. Then my father-in law, in his tell-it-like-it-is wisdom assured me, “You raise a family, not a house.” I love it! For me, that one comment took the pressure off. It gave me the permission to relax and put my priorities into perspective. If it comes to it, I will miss a deadline at work before I miss a football game. I will disappoint a “fan” who really doesn’t know me, before I would dream of disappointing my child. As much as each and every opportunity dangled in front of me might feed my ego, my first obligation is to make sure my family knows they are more important than all the money, fame or approval in the world. For me, what my family thinks of me is more important than the admiration of people who probably won’t remember me 10 years from now. Perfection in all areas of life doesn’t exist. Balance is the most we can hope for. Without truly identifying what is important to you, it is difficult to achieve balance.
I’ve applied this “healthy balance” concept to my own life and work. It’s a vision that as a business owner I work to instill in my employees. I know what works best for me, but I was curious to see what tips other multitasking fitness professionals might have, including those without children. So I went to a few individuals who I most admire for their commitment to balance and asked for their tips. Granted, you may not recognize their names, but at the moment they’re willing to trade international name recognition for harmony. Aside from their tips, I found two really reassuring bits of news I want to pass along to you: 1. Symmetry is within your reach and 2. Anything you want to do, you can and should when the time is right. Here are some practical tips to aid you in evaluating, creating and maintaining balance.
1. Prioritize, in writing, the most important areas of your life based on your current situation. So many skip this all-important first step or fail to re-visit this question on a regular basis. Though you may believe you have prioritized your values, goals or agendas in your mind; to list them on paper helps to clarify their order and re-evaluate your activities. Our top priority is often easy to identify, it’s numbers 2, 3 and 4 priorities that sometimes over-lap in our minds and fluctuate depending on changing circumstances. Writing down your priorities makes it easier to navigate tough decisions. Julie Voris, an Instructor in Carmel, Indiana said, “I feel blessed to work in fitness. I give my all each time I teach, but my family has to come first. My girls will only be young for a short time. Because I recognize that I no longer teach afternoon classes. I prefer to teach mornings while all my girls are in school, and be there when they return. I keep afternoons free to volunteer in their classrooms. It’s tempting to want to teach those primetime classes and consider other opportunities. I remind myself that when my girls are older new opportunities will be there.”
As circumstances change, so too will your priorities and therefore should your schedule. Any shift in circumstances, work-load, family, finances, health, etc. should require you revisit your written list of priorities. For many, the recent loss of a job or a portion of income has necessitated a return to the work force. Be flexible when tough times require it.
2. Create a calendar or list of your regularly scheduled activities. List everything, including leisure time and sleep. Closely estimate the amount of total time each activity requires. For example, when listing a class or client, be sure to include set-up, cleanup and drive time.
3. Star those activities that support one or all of your top 2 or 3 priorities. These are the items we should fight to keep on our list and maybe add more!
4. Underline neutral activities. Neutral activities are those which neither take from nor support your priorities. Some examples of neutral activities might include Saturday morning coffee with your girlfriends, art class, watching television, surfing the internet, training for a marathon or a fitness competition etc. These are activities that you could give up if needed, but should be evaluated for their “peace of mind” value. Never underestimate the refueling power of mindless down time or time pursuing your joy, something few A-type personalities allow for.
5. Next, boldly circle the activities or obligations that contradict your present order of priorities. This is going to take some courage. In some instances, it takes a non-objective 3rd party. Here's a personal example; One of my weekly activities was a late evening class at a club 35 minutes away, at a rate of pay far less than I normally earned. I had the class for years and felt that the students, who had become my friends, would “perish” if I gave up the class. Even though my obligations as Mom were tugging at me, I felt I'd be letting everyone down if I gave up the class. I kept thinking of the few friends who had recently joined the club just for that one class. I was keeping this self imposed obligation out of guilt, a sense of pride
and to be honest, ego gratification! It took a friend to point out that by keeping the class I was actually hurting my young family in terms of loss of time with them, loss of income and the increased stress that it caused by knowingly staying in the circumstance. Giving up that class was far less painful than I imagined. Much to my surprise, not even one student "died". In fact, it’s rumored that life went on and they eventually fell in love with a new instructor.
Now, when I personally struggle with the decision to get a sub or give up a class I remind myself that at the end of my life, it will be my family at my bedside, not my Saturday morning Turbo class.
6. Make an "Immediate Action" To- Do List: Each item which you bravely circled now needs to be removed. These aren’t areas that you’re going to “try to do better”. It’s time to take specific action. There are no ifs, ands, or buts about it. The change doesn't have to be permanent, but it should be immediate. If the act of relinquishing responsibility, inconveniencing others, or change has you frozen in your tracks, look at your top three priorities and find the courage to endure a few uncomfortable moments for lasting piece of mind. Jenelle Summers, Team Beachbody Coach, Fitness instructor and Music Coordinator for Powder Blue Productions from Toledo, Ohio realized immediate action was needed if she was going to continue teaching after her son started school. “Rushing to pick up my son from school, only to go straight to the club for a class made me feel stressed and my son began acting out, which made matters even worse. I’m not a morning person, but I was convinced that it would be in the best interest of my son to teach early morning classes. I called my coordinator the next day and began replacing my evening classes with 6:00 a.m. workouts. Even though I thought I would never see my fitness friends, many of them made the shift with me. I feel so much better about doing what I love and that my family doesn’t have to pay the price.”
7. Make a "Transitional" To-Do list: Sometimes changes should be gradual. If, for example, your number one priority is to quit your current job and work a full-time fitness career; quitting your "day job" tomorrow might make it tough to fork over the car payment at the end of the month. Consider a gradual transition. Speak to your employer about the possibility of working just 5-10 less hours per week. If that's not an option, propose a flexible work schedule that allows you to do personal training or pursue fitness opportunities during prime time hours. When I first moved to California I was working 40 to 50 hours a week at my "day" job. I felt unmotivated, uninterested and overworked. It was causing me major stress and the inability to grow my personal training business. Though I knew it was a stretch, I convinced my employers to allow me to try a flex schedule and work 10 less hours per week. They agreed. The part time hours allowed me to pursue a career in health and fitness, without losing all of my income, while I built my fitness business. Because of that transition, my personal, professional, spiritual and financial life has flourished.
8. Openly communicate your priorities with others. This serves as both a constant reminder to yourself and a means of personal accountability. In communicating your priorities, you also establish your boundaries. "I openly express my priorities so those who I work with always know and respect where I am coming from." Barbara Brodowsky, group exercise instructor for YMCA, Lancaster, CA. Not only does this keep you accountable, put people are clear about your direction and will refrain from pressuring you to do things outside of your priorities.
9. Take cues from the people closest to you: Sometimes we are too close to a situation to be able to make clear decisions. Listen to the questions and comments of those you most trust and admire. Has your significant other suggested that you look tired, seem distant, stressed or stretched too thin? Has more than one friend suggested you lighten your load or spend less time working out? Have you seen a change in the behavior or mood of one or more family members? Projects consultant for AFAA and Powder Blue Productions, Amy Nestor agrees, "When every day begins to feel hectic, rushed, and stressful and my mind feels like it's racing, I know it's time to take a look at what I'm doing. I also take cues from my family. When my normally happy son seems cranky, needy and unruly, I now recognize that he is responding to feelings he's picking up from me."
9.
10. Practice saying, “Can I get back to you on that?” If you know you should say “No” more often, yet find yourself saying, “Yes” just to be accommodating, try using “Thanks for thinking of me! Can I get back to you on that?" Just a few days will give you the time you need to evaluate the opportunity to see how it fits with your priorities and if need be, politely decline.
11. Identify, and then remove your balance blockers. All of us have self-imposed balance blockers. These are deep rooted feelings that keep us in unhealthy or stressful situations based on fear or insecurities, like the need to please, misplaced guilt, fear of rejection, false appearances, believing that you’re supposed to be able to "do it all", perfectionism and more. These items will inhibit your ability to make sound decisions; decisions based on “your” life’s priorities.
Here’s a sample list of priorities:
1. Time with the kids and especially hubby
2. Reduce debt and decrease monthly spending
3. Transition to a full time personal trainer or fitness coach
4. Help my family become more centered around healthy living
5. Spend more time writing
Warning: Out of Balance
Signs that may signify your life is out of balance:
• Insomnia
• Racing thoughts
• Over or under eating
• Stress and Irritability
• Moodiness
• Forgetfulness
• Headaches
• Nighttime teeth grinding
• Compulsive behaviors
• Loneliness
Most commonly sited ways to
Immediately reduce stress:
• Keep a carefully crafted diligently maintained to-do list
• Restructure unnecessary activities
• Give up obligations or activities you dread
• Get additional sleep
• Let your guard down
• Approach others with forgiveness and love
• Refocus priorities
• Shift classes/clients/personal workouts to least impact the family
• Shift to part-time hours
• Let go of the pursuit of perfection
Thanks for reading!
Chalene
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