Sunday, April 09, 2006

Just When You Thought You Had it Going On

Just when I was thinking I had cornered Cool-Mom market, my kids jumped in to save me.

Cierra (my 6 year old says to me, "Mom, do you know you look just like that lady who is on the cover of the magazine by the couch." My ears perked up. "Really??" I asked.

Mentally I reviewed every rag mag I've bought in the last several weeks. I couldn't wipe the smile off my face. In deed this was going to be just the ego boost my, "not feeling so cute" day needed. I grinned and replied, "That's so nice. Which on?"

Now in my head I've already narrowedd it down to either Jessica Simpson (curvacious, young, beautiful blonde - fabulous comparison and Cierra is due for a raise in her allowance). I also thought the possibilities of it being Britney Spears (a bit chubby faced at the moment, and going through a bit of a white-trashy phase at the moment, but again....young, pretty and nothing to sneeze at). Other blonde frequenteirs of the Star, People, US, InStyle, all made breif appearances in my mind. Could it be Reese Whitherspoon? Does she think I look like Nicole Richie. Couldn't be Paris Hilton. What about Meg Ryan. What about Kristen from the Laguna Beach fame?

I'd just die and go to heaven if it were still a teenager Hillary Duff.

Oh, I know... It must be Heather Locklear. My husband likes to think we look alike. No, no, no she's too old for Cierra to see a comparison.

It's has to be Jessica Simpson. That's it... Jessica Simpson.

"Cierra, show Mommy which lady you're talking about." Together we walked to the pile of magazines. I watched with excited anticipation as she pulled from the stack a copy of Orange Coast Magazine. It wasn't Jessica Simpson on the cover. My heart sank to my knees and my ego face planted on the floor, an irriversable dive. On the cover was

..... drum roll please....

Oh yes! Oh yes! Not Daisy Duke, but Murphy Brown. How ya like me now?? Now don't get me wrong. I only hope to look half as good as Candice, WHEN I'M HER AGE! But come on! Cut a Mom a break will ya! Why is it our kids know exactly when to rip the "coolness" rug right from under us?

I love my kids.

Ego firmly in place. Miracle face creme slathered on,



Anonymous said...

Here's a boost for you:

This Thursday at work, a co-worker mentioned that her 19yo brother likes to watch the Turbo Jam infomercial because of the hot girls, including you. :)


Anonymous said...

On the OC cover Candace looks much better than the Time cover.

But point taken. :)

Anonymous said...

Don't we just love kids. haha! Just the other day I had this little girl sitting on my lap. She asked me if I had a baby in my belly. Now granted, the belly roll is there but not as bad as it used to be since I have started TJ. I just laughed and told her, no it was just my fat belly. Then made a mental note to go home and do some major TJ Abs and Cardio Party! Great motivator, killed any ego though! haha!

Jesus Christ said...

This blog has been blessed by the Lord!

Brittany R said...

hey! me and my mom just got your turbo jam DVD and we love it! You are way cute, you def. don't look like candace...LOL! I just found your blog because I''m trying to look up a good quote to put in my speech I should be writing right now. Hope ya don't mind!

Trish said...

My kids say things like that too. The other day my 3 year old told me that I was old and needed to buy sunglasses to keep me from getting crackeracts (cataracts):)
The surgeons I work with really got a kick out of that one.

Anonymous said...

This blog comment made my night- I loved the anticipation building up to the big moment... Chalene, thank you for sharing your WONDERFUL sense of humor and your day-to-day fun with us...I really do feel a part of a very big (and growing) family of Turbo kickers/jammers!

Cha Cha Slide... where did you get the glasses! :-)


Carrie said...

Thanks for the laugh. Kids can alway give us a wake up call! Mine are still doing it. I have been working on this program for a month now, and have lost almost 20 lbs and 9 1/2 inches. I was bragging to someone in front of my children, and my youngest looked at me and wailed, "But mommy, your still fat!" Oh well :S

KellyC_bb said...

Ahhh the pleasures of not having small people in my life . . . I can live in denial forever!
Thankfully, my dog can't talk.

Dusk said...


That is tooooo funny!

Jenni said...

Maybe this will perk you up- I told my sister about turbojam and she saw the ad last weekend on Tv- she said you looked just like her friend from high school (who is 26) and you do! I cant wait to have kids :)

Anonymous said...

Thanks for the laugh this morning - love your humor! Although you are prettier & cooler than Jessica Simpson, Reese Witherspoon, Hillery Duff & Heather Locklear combined!! And yes, rest assured Candace does look younger on the OC cover...nice bone structure not so bad...but the way your daughter got you so excited like that is too funny!!

Anonymous said...

Children, gotta love them!! :)
My 3 year old son loves you. I have to bribe him with Turbo Jam. If I say "you won't be able to do Turbo Jam with mommy" he stops whatever he's doing. It works!! After the exercise, he watches the special features and says "I like Chalene - bye Chalene - thank you Chalene". Very cute... :)

Anonymous said...

Gosh - things that make you go hmmmm.
Okaaaaaay....Candace, but maybe 30 years ago. Were you even born then? She was a beaut. in her day.

Love you Chalene, and to me, you look just like Chalene. X-tra cute and beautiful, from the heart to the outside.


Anonymous said...

Oh no! Chalene, you are 100x hotter than Candice! This reminds me of the time my teenaged cousin asked me if I had ever been to Studio 54. WHAAAAAAAT?????!!!

I'm only 38 yrs old!


Brianne said...

That is absolutely hilarious!

irish_robbie said...

What's up Murphy!

Well admittedly, looking like Jessica might be more of a compliment than looking like Candace, at least you're not compared to the Golden Girls, like Bea Arthur or something! At Least Murphy Brown is an attractive, strong woman...Bea Arthur is just a man! :)

VaNeSs said...

have to say that is humorous considering how it is so evident of how beautiful you are!!!

Anonymous said...

You look nothing like that! But kids are great for the ego! My four year old daughter told me a few weeks ago that I was fat (I only need to lose 15lbs). I told her that wasn't nice and she shouldn't say things like that to she says.."ok mommy, your just BIG"!!!! OY!!!

Chalene Johnson said...

When my son was 4 he saw a family walking in front of us who were all at least 350 plus. He said, "Why is every person in that family so fat?" I said, "That's not a word we use to describe people." He asked, "Well what do you call it when someone has a big big big big body?"

Or how about when I threatened his sister....."Cierra, do that again and you will live with the consequences!" Brock got very sad, almost started crying and said... "Why does she have to go live with another family? I don't even know who the Consequences are?"

I flippin' love kids!


Dawn L. said...

That's too funny! However, you don't look anything like Candice (nothing against her, in fact she looks fab for her age). Well, you know how kids are! Heck, when I was in college, a 5 year old kid came up to me and said I looked Cyndi Lauper (this was the time her Girls Just Want To Have Fun song/video was overplayed). Here's the odd part: I'm asian with dark brown straight hair! I was wearing tank top and jeans. I think I looked like the average woman walking down the street. I don't know how I got to be compared to Cyndi Lauper. Go figure! :)

mom2ajjm said...

Hi Chalene,

I think you are a wonderful person. I am sure you have heard this a million times, but your smiling personality is what gets to people (in a very positive way). I believe in this: smiling is contagious, avoid those that have immunity!

I am just about done P90 (5 more days),and then I will be in full swing of TJ 10 in 10. I have signed up for a house party, and i hope I am selected.

I am saying all of this to your post on "Just when you thought you had it going on" because I find that is a struggle I am having throughout my weightloss and exercising journey. Somedays I feel like a million bucks, and somedays I feel so far from that.

Is this a normal thing that others have experienced?

Melody said...

Hi Chalene,

I'm really enjoying all your workouts! You're fabulous and inspiring! I do have a couple of suggestions for your future workouts: Hope you do more kicking and more turbos! I also hope you do shorter warm-ups and cooldowns. For example, I was hoping Fat Blaster would be 30 minutes of pure workout but there was a long warm-up and cooldown - so in the end, the workout itself became too short. It seems that the Maximizer series had longer warm-ups. In any case, they're still very enjoyable! I know you'll give us more tounger and intense workouts in the future so that's something to look forward to!

Keep the inspiration going!

Anonymous said...

I recently purchased the Turbo Jam DVDs and you are just wonderful Chalene.

My frat brothers thought I was a little fruity when I did Tae Bo (having Billy Blank's junk in the middle of the screen as he did knee lifts...yeah, I guess it was a bit fruity), but now they all watch your TJ DVD just to see you (they refuse to work out though, but I'll change them!).

Keep it real Chalene. :)


Anonymous said...

OH Chalene- thank you for the laugh! You definately don't look like Murphy Brown.

In fact, I was just telling my husband today how "not annoying and cute" you are (compared to some other instructors).

Anonymous said...

Oh, I usually don't comment but that had me rollin. I would agree with you more on the Jessica Simpson not Murphy Brown.

Kelly said...

Hi Chalene!

I don't think you look ANYTHING like Candace. Not by a long shot. Much closer to Jessica.

I wanted to take this opportunity to say thanks for all that you do with TJ. I saw the informercial a month ago and thought, "She seems pretty fun. I'll try it." Got the package and haven't looked back. I come from an extremely athletic background(16yrs dance, 12yrs soccer) and since living in Los Angeles for 9 years, I've let myself go. (I'm an actress in Hollywood, so that's not the best thing to do.)

A friend and I have started working out together after work to get in shape for a mutual friend's upcoming wedding.(We want to look good in our bridesmaid dresses.) She's been having problems staying motivated, so I brought over my TJ DVD and we rocked the house! She's so pumped and said, "You HAVE to keep bringing that DVD."

I just wanted to say thanks for all your energy and creating TJ. I've actually cried while doing the workouts because you make it so fun and your encouragement is so uplifting. I'm thrilled to be dancing again. I haven't been this proud of myself since completing the Avon Breast Cancer 60 mile walk a few years go.

I am so blessed to have stumbled upon your product and have been truly motivated to improve my health and lifestyle(not to mention the tummy and booty.)

Thanks again! You are a true inspiration!


TariLynn said...

Chalene, my dear... you definitely don't look like Candace... you look BETTER than her! I'm a 35 yr old mom in Missoula, MT and I would love to know how to become a Turbo Jam fitness instructor. There is nothing offered here, and I'm l-o-v-i-n-g this TJ workout... and I want to share it with the people here in Missoula. It's incredible! And my husband is my workout partner every single morning. I'm ready to start the training and I just need to be shown the way. Please help...
Tari Colbry

Anonymous said...

Your upbeat, positive character shines through your eyes, making your radiant personality just as radiant as your beautiful face. Your daughter must have seen the resemblence in the happiness you both seem to beam through your smiles. :)

stephanie said...

Chalene woman, I already told you that my son thinks you are the hottest thing EVER! He has his first crush & it's on you....whenever I"m working out I have to threaten to kick him if he doesn't move from in front of the TV - He loves, loves, loves you! That same cute loving son just told me the other day as we were eating out (this just shows I watch Napoleon Dynamite too much!) "mom you fat lard come get your dinner!" oh okay I laughed so hard but I did turn a bit red for those that haven't seen that movie - thinking my son just called me a fat lard! it was too great tho & a memory I will hold forever!
Kids are great

oh & you really don't look like Murphy Brown - I swear it!


Anonymous said...

Hey Chalene! Well, my hubby thinks you're hot. The guys at work think you're hot and these are guys in their mid-20s! My hubby proudly declared, "I'd much rather watch Chalene than watching scary, sweaty Billy Blanks."...and you're more fun and your music rocks!

And the flippin' kids...I love them, they are great!

My 10-month-old son laughs hysterically whenever I do the jab 3X then cross punch. I'm sure you remember when your kids were babies and they hysterically laughed at something. It's a sweet sound that I cannot describe.

...Of course, my 4 year old daughter...

She loves "Dora the Explorer" and one day after an intense TJ workout, she comes running to me and she goes: "Mama, mama, you're gorda!" Argh. They teach the word "fat" at this age already? Poor mommy. :(

Renae said...

LOLOL do have interesting points of view! You are a beautiful "You" and I can tell that what we see on screen is who you really are! My 18 yr old son loves the videos too, I think he enjoys seeing you and Mindy!

laura52 said...


Out of the mouths of babes. Thanks for the smiles Chalene!

Oh, and when I was growing up and a teenager, 4 decades ago, I can remember Glamour and Cosmo magazine having Candice Bergen as their covergirl along with Cheryl Tieg and Cybill Shepard being the hot and gorgeous models.

Look at all of them now Chalene. They all took care of themselves with proper diet and exercise and they look awesome for their age without being surgically altered!!!

Maybe your daughter saw something in your future of the "consequences" you will have for taking care of yourself. :D


Ann said...

My first bloggin submission...
Couldn't refrain.
I know it's redundant, but this was the best lift I've had in awhile.
BTW, I aspire to look as good as Diane Keaton. LOL. Happily, your style gives a huge boost to my flagging ego.

Keep your upbeat, natural, loving ways!


shari3boys said...

oh wow thats freakin hilarious!!!!

and chalene i still love ya girl...i have 3 boys littel ones u wouldnt believe the stuff i mom..your belly is like playdo....ok well i have had 3 csections...and its bc of you littel guys my belly looks like playdo right now...teehheee

Jacey Reynolds said...

That's harsh, but I'll bet I can top it!

I'm 9 months pregnant with my fourth, I'm 35 years old, and my kids are ages 6, almost 4, and 2. I was in the grocery store with two of them the other day, when one of the managers (who has seen me in that store for 6 years now with my kids), says to me, So, you got the grandkids today? When I said, "WHAT???" He actually repeated the question! I cried all the way through the store and for the rest of the day (after correcting him)!

Incidentally, this "granny" has been doing Turbo Jam for the last 5 months of her pregnancy. I get up at 4:30am 6 days a week and do a TJ workout. I have them ALL! Don't I deserve some kind of award? I'm 3 weeks away from delivery and plan to keep going until the day before! Yay me!

Anonymous said...

I'm 42, 5'2" and I want to look like YOU!! You're my idol!

I just want to thank you sooooo much for creating a workout that makes me excited to exercise again! I can't wait every morning to do my workout and laugh at how much fun I'm having and it's all thanks to you.

Don't the rest of us "normal" people, you're the magazine cover we aspire to! :)

Mindy said...

Haahaa! Haaha! I am still laughing! Oh, Chalene, you are son flippin funny!!

Katie's Grammy said...

I think I have that one My "wonderful" teenage children and I were watching a movie recently. Something about "Tomorrow". Well my 18 yr old daughter pipes up with "hey don't worry if we have another ice age, we can survive it. Mom survived the first one." Of course at that point she ran from the room laughing.

Anonymous said... I daresay that the Jammer may have just gotten jammed by her very own little daughter? : ) All I can say is she better watch out, cuz you "never jam the jammer!" : )

dastomusic said...

Hi CHarlene,

I just want to say that I've felt the same in a different situation. My former user name here at Beachbody was MarkD. I went through P90, turbo half hour and a few other programs which Tony H has at beachbody. My results were amazing....dropping 50 lbs in 6 months. I felt awesome and looked great. But, I strayed away from my workout routine, went through some difficult times and started my emotional eating patterns again.

The result was that I gained back about 30 lbs. So, I guess you could say I was still netting a loss of 20 lbs, but I strtaed to feel tired and sluggish again.

One of my music school students saw my P90 pictures and said to used to be so ripped, what happenned. This hit me hard.

Well, here I am a few years later, and about to celebrate my first anniversary with my new wife. She thought that If I started working out again, I wouldn't be so 'crabby'. I knew she was right and made that get back on track. I chose to order Turbo Jam. I thought that all the women DID look great in the infomercial, and figured that would be better than looking at Tony H (no offense Tony, my man) I've been using your program as close as possible to the schedule, getting a workout in about 3 or 4 days a week. I have to say after about 6 weeks, I have dropped weight and feel better again. You are so 'perky' and lively. Thanks for the motivation.

Peace and God Bless,
Mark D'Asto

Patrisha said...

LOL that was priceless!! Out of the mouths of babes!! Thank you for the laugh!!!

Micki said...

Kids -- gotta love them! My 6 yr old told me the other day that I don't seem that old, 'cause I keep my toenails clipped! haha

Chalene, you look wonderful and are an inspiration. What a fun blog!
I am a fairly new TJ'er - still learning. I love it and hope to be a hot 46 year older!
My "baby" who is 3 shocked us in the store the other day. I had both my girls with me, and didn't realize I said "lalalaladies" but she replied "fafafafelwaaas" so cute I almost peed my pants!
They like to watch me make a fool of myself, but who cares!!
Take care girl! You rock!

One Body said...

Oh, my gosh Chalene, you have seriously made my, my, my month! I feel like a STAR! Love You--Bethany

Dori said...

I keep getting the same lying customer service people. In the recorded sales call I repeatedly only agreed to 3 payments of 19.95. When I was overcharged the first time they said they would credit me. They did not and continue to debit my account so far to the total of 111.67. I would think a good product could make money without lying to the customer and stealing from them. I like the program but this is the worst purchasing experience I have ever had. I really don't know how else to reach you to let you know that the people who handle your sales are damaging your reputation.