Sunday, April 09, 2006

Just When You Thought You Had it Going On




Just when I was thinking I had cornered Cool-Mom market, my kids jumped in to save me.

Cierra (my 6 year old says to me, "Mom, do you know you look just like that lady who is on the cover of the magazine by the couch." My ears perked up. "Really??" I asked.

Mentally I reviewed every rag mag I've bought in the last several weeks. I couldn't wipe the smile off my face. In deed this was going to be just the ego boost my, "not feeling so cute" day needed. I grinned and replied, "That's so nice. Which on?"

Now in my head I've already narrowedd it down to either Jessica Simpson (curvacious, young, beautiful blonde - fabulous comparison and Cierra is due for a raise in her allowance). I also thought the possibilities of it being Britney Spears (a bit chubby faced at the moment, and going through a bit of a white-trashy phase at the moment, but again....young, pretty and nothing to sneeze at). Other blonde frequenteirs of the Star, People, US, InStyle, all made breif appearances in my mind. Could it be Reese Whitherspoon? Does she think I look like Nicole Richie. Couldn't be Paris Hilton. What about Meg Ryan. What about Kristen from the Laguna Beach fame?










I'd just die and go to heaven if it were still a teenager Hillary Duff.





















Oh, I know... It must be Heather Locklear. My husband likes to think we look alike. No, no, no she's too old for Cierra to see a comparison.









It's has to be Jessica Simpson. That's it... Jessica Simpson.






















"Cierra, show Mommy which lady you're talking about." Together we walked to the pile of magazines. I watched with excited anticipation as she pulled from the stack a copy of Orange Coast Magazine. It wasn't Jessica Simpson on the cover. My heart sank to my knees and my ego face planted on the floor, an irriversable dive. On the cover was






..... drum roll please....











Oh yes! Oh yes! Not Daisy Duke, but Murphy Brown. How ya like me now?? Now don't get me wrong. I only hope to look half as good as Candice, WHEN I'M HER AGE! But come on! Cut a Mom a break will ya! Why is it our kids know exactly when to rip the "coolness" rug right from under us?

I love my kids.

Ego firmly in place. Miracle face creme slathered on,

Chalene

33 comments:

Anonymous said...

Here's a boost for you:

This Thursday at work, a co-worker mentioned that her 19yo brother likes to watch the Turbo Jam infomercial because of the hot girls, including you. :)

LauraJ

Anonymous said...

On the OC cover Candace looks much better than the Time cover. http://www.orangecoastmagazine.com

But point taken. :)

Anonymous said...

Don't we just love kids. haha! Just the other day I had this little girl sitting on my lap. She asked me if I had a baby in my belly. Now granted, the belly roll is there but not as bad as it used to be since I have started TJ. I just laughed and told her, no it was just my fat belly. Then made a mental note to go home and do some major TJ Abs and Cardio Party! Great motivator, killed any ego though! haha!

Anonymous said...

hey! me and my mom just got your turbo jam DVD and we love it! You are way cute, you def. don't look like candace...LOL! I just found your blog because I''m trying to look up a good quote to put in my speech I should be writing right now. Hope ya don't mind!

Anonymous said...

This blog comment made my night- I loved the anticipation building up to the big moment... Chalene, thank you for sharing your WONDERFUL sense of humor and your day-to-day fun with us...I really do feel a part of a very big (and growing) family of Turbo kickers/jammers!

Cha Cha Slide... where did you get the glasses! :-)

ridgely

KellyC said...

Ahhh the pleasures of not having small people in my life . . . I can live in denial forever!
Thankfully, my dog can't talk.

Dusk said...

BWAHAHAHAHA!!!!!

That is tooooo funny!

Anonymous said...

Maybe this will perk you up- I told my sister about turbojam and she saw the ad last weekend on Tv- she said you looked just like her friend from high school (who is 26) and you do! I cant wait to have kids :)

Anonymous said...

Thanks for the laugh this morning - love your humor! Although you are prettier & cooler than Jessica Simpson, Reese Witherspoon, Hillery Duff & Heather Locklear combined!! And yes, rest assured Candace does look younger on the OC cover...nice bone structure too...so not so bad...but the way your daughter got you so excited like that is too funny!!

Anonymous said...

Children, gotta love them!! :)
My 3 year old son loves you. I have to bribe him with Turbo Jam. If I say "you won't be able to do Turbo Jam with mommy" he stops whatever he's doing. It works!! After the exercise, he watches the special features and says "I like Chalene - bye Chalene - thank you Chalene". Very cute... :)

Anonymous said...

Gosh - things that make you go hmmmm.
Okaaaaaay....Candace, but maybe 30 years ago. Were you even born then? She was a beaut. in her day.

Love you Chalene, and to me, you look just like Chalene. X-tra cute and beautiful, from the heart to the outside.

Loulan/Rubie

Anonymous said...

Oh no! Chalene, you are 100x hotter than Candice! This reminds me of the time my teenaged cousin asked me if I had ever been to Studio 54. WHAAAAAAAT?????!!!

I'm only 38 yrs old!

--Cardiogirl

Brianne said...

That is absolutely hilarious!

irish_robbie said...

What's up Murphy!

Well admittedly, looking like Jessica might be more of a compliment than looking like Candace, at least you're not compared to the Golden Girls, like Bea Arthur or something! At Least Murphy Brown is an attractive, strong woman...Bea Arthur is just a man! :)

VaNeSs said...

have to say that is humorous considering how it is so evident of how beautiful you are!!!

Anonymous said...

You look nothing like that! But kids are great for the ego! My four year old daughter told me a few weeks ago that I was fat (I only need to lose 15lbs). I told her that wasn't nice and she shouldn't say things like that to people..so she says.."ok mommy, your just BIG"!!!! OY!!!

Chalene Johnson said...

When my son was 4 he saw a family walking in front of us who were all at least 350 plus. He said, "Why is every person in that family so fat?" I said, "That's not a word we use to describe people." He asked, "Well what do you call it when someone has a big big big big body?"

Or how about when I threatened his sister....."Cierra, do that again and you will live with the consequences!" Brock got very sad, almost started crying and said... "Why does she have to go live with another family? I don't even know who the Consequences are?"

I flippin' love kids!

Chalene

Anonymous said...

That's too funny! However, you don't look anything like Candice (nothing against her, in fact she looks fab for her age). Well, you know how kids are! Heck, when I was in college, a 5 year old kid came up to me and said I looked Cyndi Lauper (this was the time her Girls Just Want To Have Fun song/video was overplayed). Here's the odd part: I'm asian with dark brown straight hair! I was wearing tank top and jeans. I think I looked like the average woman walking down the street. I don't know how I got to be compared to Cyndi Lauper. Go figure! :)

Anonymous said...

Hi Chalene,

I'm really enjoying all your workouts! You're fabulous and inspiring! I do have a couple of suggestions for your future workouts: Hope you do more kicking and more turbos! I also hope you do shorter warm-ups and cooldowns. For example, I was hoping Fat Blaster would be 30 minutes of pure workout but there was a long warm-up and cooldown - so in the end, the workout itself became too short. It seems that the Maximizer series had longer warm-ups. In any case, they're still very enjoyable! I know you'll give us more tounger and intense workouts in the future so that's something to look forward to!

Keep the inspiration going!

Anonymous said...

I recently purchased the Turbo Jam DVDs and you are just wonderful Chalene.

My frat brothers thought I was a little fruity when I did Tae Bo (having Billy Blank's junk in the middle of the screen as he did knee lifts...yeah, I guess it was a bit fruity), but now they all watch your TJ DVD just to see you (they refuse to work out though, but I'll change them!).

Keep it real Chalene. :)

-Johnny

Anonymous said...

OH Chalene- thank you for the laugh! You definately don't look like Murphy Brown.

In fact, I was just telling my husband today how "not annoying and cute" you are (compared to some other instructors).

Anonymous said...

Oh, I usually don't comment but that had me rollin. I would agree with you more on the Jessica Simpson not Murphy Brown.

Kelly said...

Hi Chalene!

I don't think you look ANYTHING like Candace. Not by a long shot. Much closer to Jessica.

I wanted to take this opportunity to say thanks for all that you do with TJ. I saw the informercial a month ago and thought, "She seems pretty fun. I'll try it." Got the package and haven't looked back. I come from an extremely athletic background(16yrs dance, 12yrs soccer) and since living in Los Angeles for 9 years, I've let myself go. (I'm an actress in Hollywood, so that's not the best thing to do.)

A friend and I have started working out together after work to get in shape for a mutual friend's upcoming wedding.(We want to look good in our bridesmaid dresses.) She's been having problems staying motivated, so I brought over my TJ DVD and we rocked the house! She's so pumped and said, "You HAVE to keep bringing that DVD."

I just wanted to say thanks for all your energy and creating TJ. I've actually cried while doing the workouts because you make it so fun and your encouragement is so uplifting. I'm thrilled to be dancing again. I haven't been this proud of myself since completing the Avon Breast Cancer 60 mile walk a few years go.

I am so blessed to have stumbled upon your product and have been truly motivated to improve my health and lifestyle(not to mention the tummy and booty.)

Thanks again! You are a true inspiration!

:)

Anonymous said...

Your upbeat, positive character shines through your eyes, making your radiant personality just as radiant as your beautiful face. Your daughter must have seen the resemblence in the happiness you both seem to beam through your smiles. :)

Anonymous said...

Hey Chalene! Well, my hubby thinks you're hot. The guys at work think you're hot and these are guys in their mid-20s! My hubby proudly declared, "I'd much rather watch Chalene than watching scary, sweaty Billy Blanks."...and you're more fun and your music rocks!

And the flippin' kids...I love them, they are great!

My 10-month-old son laughs hysterically whenever I do the jab 3X then cross punch. I'm sure you remember when your kids were babies and they hysterically laughed at something. It's a sweet sound that I cannot describe.

...Of course, my 4 year old daughter...

She loves "Dora the Explorer" and one day after an intense TJ workout, she comes running to me and she goes: "Mama, mama, you're gorda!" Argh. They teach the word "fat" at this age already? Poor mommy. :(

laura1952 said...

:D

Out of the mouths of babes. Thanks for the smiles Chalene!

Oh, and when I was growing up and a teenager, 4 decades ago, I can remember Glamour and Cosmo magazine having Candice Bergen as their covergirl along with Cheryl Tieg and Cybill Shepard being the hot and gorgeous models.

Look at all of them now Chalene. They all took care of themselves with proper diet and exercise and they look awesome for their age without being surgically altered!!!

Maybe your daughter saw something in your future of the "consequences" you will have for taking care of yourself. :D

Laura

Anonymous said...

That's harsh, but I'll bet I can top it!

I'm 9 months pregnant with my fourth, I'm 35 years old, and my kids are ages 6, almost 4, and 2. I was in the grocery store with two of them the other day, when one of the managers (who has seen me in that store for 6 years now with my kids), says to me, So, you got the grandkids today? When I said, "WHAT???" He actually repeated the question! I cried all the way through the store and for the rest of the day (after correcting him)!

Incidentally, this "granny" has been doing Turbo Jam for the last 5 months of her pregnancy. I get up at 4:30am 6 days a week and do a TJ workout. I have them ALL! Don't I deserve some kind of award? I'm 3 weeks away from delivery and plan to keep going until the day before! Yay me!

Anonymous said...

Chalene,
I'm 42, 5'2" and I want to look like YOU!! You're my idol!

I just want to thank you sooooo much for creating a workout that makes me excited to exercise again! I can't wait every morning to do my workout and laugh at how much fun I'm having and it's all thanks to you.

Don't worry...to the rest of us "normal" people, you're the magazine cover we aspire to! :)

Anonymous said...

Hmm...do I daresay that the Jammer may have just gotten jammed by her very own little daughter? : ) All I can say is she better watch out, cuz you "never jam the jammer!" : )

MsEbonyLuv said...

LOL that was priceless!! Out of the mouths of babes!! Thank you for the laugh!!!

Unknown said...

Kids -- gotta love them! My 6 yr old told me the other day that I don't seem that old, 'cause I keep my toenails clipped! haha

Chalene, you look wonderful and are an inspiration. What a fun blog!
I am a fairly new TJ'er - still learning. I love it and hope to be a hot 46 year older!
My "baby" who is 3 shocked us in the store the other day. I had both my girls with me, and didn't realize I said "lalalaladies" but she replied "fafafafelwaaas" so cute I almost peed my pants!
They like to watch me make a fool of myself, but who cares!!
Take care girl! You rock!
Micki

One Body said...

Oh, my gosh Chalene, you have seriously made my day...no, my week...no, my month! I feel like a STAR! Love You--Bethany

Anonymous said...

I keep getting the same lying customer service people. In the recorded sales call I repeatedly only agreed to 3 payments of 19.95. When I was overcharged the first time they said they would credit me. They did not and continue to debit my account so far to the total of 111.67. I would think a good product could make money without lying to the customer and stealing from them. I like the program but this is the worst purchasing experience I have ever had. I really don't know how else to reach you to let you know that the people who handle your sales are damaging your reputation. dorirb@cox.net