Friday, December 30, 2005


Okay... this has absolutely zip to do with fitness or your "tools", but it's totally useful. Your regular broadcast program has been interrupted to bring you this important emergency alert.

Attention all Target shoppers....

You know that little section right when you walk into all Targets that is filled with $1.00 items? You can find
totally rad little thingies that you have no need for, but they are so cheap you just buy a bunch? Well as if $1.00 for a really nice dog bowl, or a cookie recipe book weren't deal enough... TARGET HAS A 75% OFF SALE ON ALL $1.00 ITEMS. Now I'm no mathematician, but it didn't take me long to figure this one out. "A QUARTER?" I yelled to strangers walking by. Then it turned into a statement..."A QUARTER!!!"

Run... don't walk to Target..... today. This makes it even more URGENT that you trip to Target to pick up your "tools"! Tell your husband,..."I'm off to Target cuz that Turbo Jam guurrl is gonna save us some money honey!" If
you're at work and can't really leave... I'll write ya a note. It's almost worth a corrective action (or whatever they're calling them in corporate world these days.)

So, thinking ahead for my five year old, Cierra's birthday I bought her party favors...

10 black and pink satin purses - .25 cents each
10 Pink Pearl and black satin box necklaces - .25 cents each
10 Pink pearl head bands - .25 cents each
Total per set: .75 cents
Grand Total for 10 sets: $7.50

Okay and they had these bigger black satin purses with a tiny pink bow that are like 4 inches tall,
and maybe 9 inches long..kind of like a clutch. I bought a whole bunch of those too! I give my girlfriends
and employees gift certificates to the nail salon for manicures and pedicures and how much cuter would
they be to deliver them in these little purses. Heeellllooooowwww! It's a quarter...less than a greeting card,
less than a stamp, less than a 1/16th of a cup of coffee

There were dog bowls, and cat collars and costume jewelry and cd cases (to hold your Turbo Jam
DVD's) and recipe books, and, and..and...

P.S. If you live near the Mission Viejo Target, you should consider another location. I cleaned that one out and
I plan to hit a few more in the greater Orange County area. Big Lots - Shmig Lots.

Marthas of the world unite!

Wednesday, December 28, 2005

Get the Right Tools - Part 2

Part 2: All the Right Tools...

Stop... If you haven't already, please read Part 1 (see below) and hurry back.

Let's face it when it comes to burning calories, nothing comes close to Turbo Jam. In fact, I double dog dare ya to find a workout video with half the funk-factor (Funk-Factor: The less than pleasant odor resulting from profuse sweating associated with a killer T.J. workout.) But when it comes to weight loss it's more than just burning calories, but rather...burning more than you consume.

To consume fewer calories most experts will tell you to get some self-control. I'm going to tell you to get some plastic.

By consuming just an extra 100 calories per day (a second teaspoon of salad dressing, a bigger serving of cereal, a small extra glass of juice) you can easily pack on an extra 10 pounds a year. Conversly, by using the right tools and modifying habits just slightly, you can drop an extra 10 pounds a year (and that's assuming you weren't doing Turbo Jam) by simply equiping yourself with some good plastic. Details to below. Throw in some T,J, and with one hand on my hip and the other snapping a "Z"....... three words for ya.. "LOOK (*snap*) ING (*snap*) GOOD (*snap*)."

Containers, containers, containers:

America is the land of plenty. The businesses, the buildings, the boobs and the burgers..they're all bigger in the old U.S of A. No where is this concept more damaging than in the food industry. We want more for less. Super size it! Big Gulps are the new small. A small mitten size bag of popcorn used to do the trick. Now we order buckets bigger than paint cans! Newsflash...America is Fat!

It's not OUR fault that portions have grown over 60% since the 70's. But it is OUR problem. Ironically the only place I can think of where the portion sizes are appropriate for most adults is found at a 30,000 foot altatude. It's ironic only because it's the one food that you really don't want a lot of anyway! As nasty as it might be, airline food has the portions just about right.

There's only one way thing to do... Get some tools.

Rebels unite. Re-size your portions and win the war on fat! And where can you find these miracle tools? Just about any home/kitchen store will do. My personal favorite for such finds is a little place where I expect more and pay less. A little place that many of us use the french pronounciation of "Tar- Sshjay". A fabulous shop-stop where you pop in for batteries and leave 2 hours later with $300 worth of stuff you describe to your husband as "things we like totally needed." Target is the bomb, off the chain! If you live in the midwest...Meijer's Thrifty Acres is even better! You could find this stuff at Wal Mart or even your local grocery store.

Weight loss happens so much faster when you get a handle on portion size. One of the best ways to take control of your portions, rather than accepting what the food companies have decided is an acceptable portion, is to re-package it. Never leave an open bag of food in your cupboards. That's just an invitation to have conveinent food amnesia (when you continue to forget that you've already had several cookies, but you're back for more! If you're grazing, grabbing, or accepting the portions as packaged, may I wish you the best of luck! If you're serious about being a TJ success story ...get some good plastic containers with lots of little ones (i.e. the size that only holds a cup or half cup) That's the most common portion size for each food entre. Prepare each little container with pre-portioned servings stored in the fridge and ready for grabbing. We re-define "fast food" by having these things available and pre-measured. Items featured available at Target.


Plastic baggies are essential for the Turbo Slim diet. Prepare snacks ahead of time. Keep an emergency stash in your whip (gangsta mom slang for "car"). In my center counsole are a few pre-measure bags of raw almonds and dried cranberries. I keep a baggie in my gym bag too! On Mondays I make edamame and fill small bags to serve as snacks for the next three days. How about a small baggie with drained garbanzo beans and a dash of salt? How about a small baggie with 5 to 10 Oreo double stuffed cookies? Not. (Just making sure you're still with me.) Are these like the cutest plastic bags you've ever seen? Don't they make ya just wanna run out and buy a pair of SHOX to match? A bit on the pricey side, you can get three boxes of these at for around $15.00. A fair price to pay for fashion forward baggies :) Think how much more exicting to eat carrots from one of these works of art.

My sister got all the grace and all the height. As a teen she was asked to dance for the Grand Rapids Jr. Ballet Company. Those girls weren't allowed to gain an ounce. She learned to estimate calorie content on everything from a piece of reubarb pie to a kithchen sponge. Napolean Dynamite had like nunchuck skills, bowhunting skills, computer hacking skills... Jenelle has MAD calorie counting skills. It's learned. You have to start with Calorie Counting 101. That means for about a week, maybe more... you going to need to measure and weigh things...(Oh please, like you thought I couldn't see you rolling your eyes.) It's not that big of a deal and it's really what you MUST DO IF YOU CLAIM TO BE EATING VERY WELL, EXERCISING AND NOT LOSING WEIGHT. Second newsflash of the day... weight loss has and always will be a matter of burning more calories than you consume. Pssst...pssst...over here... (whispers) "You might be underestimating your calories". So get a food scale. Good ones start at about $19.00. The one featured is less than 60 but it practically does your workouts for you. This way cool scale weighs your food, estimates your calories for you and even adds and records your total calories for the day/week for up to 4 people. It's like a scale on steriods. Too cool! This too is available at Target for around $60.00. Food scales range between $19.99 and $59.99

4. FRESH IS BEST: When it comes to fresh food there are two things that get me excited... the first is a really good paring knife. A great paring knife makes cutting fruit and vegetables fast and fun! I love me some cucumbers. Cucs with sushi, cucs with salt, cucs with non-fat ranch dressing, cucs with vinegar and splenda, cucs on my eyelids at the spa! The skins not so good, so you will have to peel, slice and dice. You need a killer knife. Ooopps... make that a great knife. I have a Cutco knife that I've had since I was a door to door salesperson for them at the age of 20 (which was like pretty much just a few years ago). I spent 7 days in training and sold 3 sets before retiring and cashing in my pension plan. I love this knife though. I mean I REALLY love this knife. I've checked. To get one, you have to go through a sales rep. I'm willing to put aside my pride and have a lesser salesperson deliver that pitch I once knew so well. However, I would love to hear from those of you who have found "THE" paring knife. Please post a reply below.

The second thing that makes the "fresh" life a little faster is the George Foreman grill. Dare I suggest he might have been the first "Chicken George"? Naaawwoooo! Say it ain't so.

Undeniably he does make a great grill that speeds up the process and decreases fat on fresh protein! I bet Rogers Poultry tastes great on the Foreman Grill. Target has about 5 different versions ranging from $19.99 to $150.99. I actually have the $19.00 version and have had it for years and years. They all work great. Just consider how many people you'll be grillin' fer.

Okay...go get those tools! More before January 1. Please check back....spread the word. 2006 is our year!



Monday, December 26, 2005

All the Right Tools

So you want to create your own "extreme make-over". Get in line sistah! Right after that stroke of midnight New Year's Eve kiss, many of us embark on a mission to "remodel" the ol' bod. Hey, no time like the present to get mad serious and make it happen this year. Any carpenter (even J.C) knows the importance of good tools. You certainly wouldn't go about remodeling your bathroom without proper equipment and supplies. The outdated, unmatched, rusty tools tucked into the corner of your garage, hiding behind dust covered, half empty cans of paint are not going to give you the HGTV result you were going for. You (or your contractor) would make a trip to the local building supply mega store and find the best products at the best price.

Why would you approach your personal make-over with anything less?

Let's get real. If you're planning on turning that body into a fine tuned Ferrari, how are ya gonna start with worn tread, no-name brand, dirty, flat tires on those feet? And you're wondering why your knees hurt! Geeesh!

If your serious about making a dramatic change, it's time to get the right equipment. Over the course of the next week I'll share some my personal must-have's when it comes to "good tools".

Today's tip.... IT'S ALL ABOUT THE SHOES. Shoes will make the most dramatic difference in your experience.

SHOES: As a general rule, shoes should be considered "dead" and laid to rest after 300 to 500 miles, or between 60 and 100 hours of impact depending upon several factors. Factors include impact of the activity, weight of the individual, terrain, quality of the shoe, pronation or supination of the foot, and overall construction. All effect a shoe's lifespan. Only use, not the number of months you own a shoe is relevant. Marathon runners and those who log substantial hours need to replace them more often. (That's my excuse and I'm sticking with it.) It's not the length of time you've owned the shoe, but how many and the kind of hours you put on them.

My feet are my livelihood. Shoes are my most important purchase. I'll wear a sports bra from Wal Mart, but when it comes to shoes... never sacrifice quality. I buy the best and rotate them often. I rotate my shoes (wearing a different pair ever couple of days), to extend the life of the shoe. (Okay, okay, okay...and to match my outfit. Fine. Are you happy?).

Do you really need an excuse to go buy a new pair of shoes? Maybe it's your household's CFO that needs to justify the purchase. Consider that flat, dead, overused and/or poorly made shoes often result in back pain, knee pain, hamstring injuries, joint pain, knee injuries and sprainked ankles just to name a few good reasons.

COMMON QUESTION: Which shoes are the best?
ANSWER: The ones that fit your foot and are most suitable for the type of activity/use and take into consideration the surface you'll be working on are the best. (Well and for the fitness fashion forward crew, color is a key!) How is that for a non specific answer. Sorry! It's true. But let me refine that for Turbo Jammers. Find a reputable athletic shoe source. For T.J'ers working on carpet, I recommend a shoe with minimal tread, yet designed for impact, i.e. cross trainers, basketball shoes, certain dance shoes. For those who exercise on hard surfaces, i.e. wood, cement, tile, etc. tread becomes less of an issue. Tell Al Bundy that you're doing "kickboxing" and he''ll only suggest a standard cross trainer or aerobic shoes. Who's this guy kidding? There's kickboxing, then there's TURBO JAM... Word to ya motha! So rather than explaining that your activity of choice as "kickboxing" describe your activity. Try something like this..."Have you ever seen the Power Rangers? No? Okay. How about Kill Bill? No? No problem. How about a K1 match? No? Well, basically cross the martial arts of Bruce Lee with hip shakin' of Shakira and that's what I do. It's called Turbo Jam."
CONSIDER: Turbo Jam involves impact at the toe box. It requires that you be able to pivot with ease, and simulates either walking or running in place depending on whether you add a high impact component or low impact component to your workout. There is really not that much lateral movement, i.e grapevines, shuffles, etc. commonly used in other KB workouts.

WHAT DO I WEAR? (Blushing...) "I thought you'd never ask." I wear Nike Shox and I have for years. They work for me AND they're way sassy. (This is not an endorsement and I'm not sponsored by Nike, but there's something liberating about admitting you have a problem. "Hi, I'm Chalene and I'm a SHOX-A-HOLIC". The truth of the matter pulse quickens even thinking about a new pair!) SHOX are to me what Manolo's were to Carrie. I run in them and I TJ in them and I dream of them. When NIKE came out with the NIKE Shox Boot NZ, I could barely breathe. Delighted and creeped out at the same time at the thought that someone at NIKE must have read my diary. Some people collect figurines. I collect Shox. They fit my foot, my wallet and my fitness fashion. (subliminal message to NIKE... send Chalene free SHOX... send Chalene free SHOX)

DISCLAIMER: That doesn't mean they'll work for you. I have fitness friends who hate 'em. (Make that former fitness friends!) Every foot and workout surface is different. Thank goodness the days of barefoot aerobics have passed us by. Know thy foot. Do you pronate? Supinate ? High arch? Low arch? No arch? Wide feet? Narrow feet? Stinky feet? Ashy feet?

I can't tell you what shoe to buy, it's almost as personal as what jeans fit you the best. Lord knows you have to try on every pair before you find one that fits. I CAN, however, fill you in on a few hot places to score a deal...
I'm a repeat offender at They know me by name. I find amazing deals on kicks in wildly obnoxious colors deeply discounted because no other would venture to wear them in public. I also love and And DON'T even think about visiting unless you're ready for a full-blown, shoe- designing addiction followed by a messy family intervention and months of outpatient therapy.

Anyone have a good treatment facility to recommend?

More later this week.

Sunday, December 25, 2005

Merry Christmas!

The Johnson Annual Santa Party

I hope I remember everything!

With heels on, I'm just a few inches taller than the 8 year olds!

Monday, December 05, 2005




There's a lot to be said about accountability. Accountability can come in many forms. I personally believe that if you're trying to get your eating under control, you need to keep a food journal and it's best to partner up with someone who you can swap journals back and forth. Accountability is making arrangements to meet a friend for a walk, and to do Turbo Jam together. Accountability helps us go the extra mile. It's what makes us get up and go when that little voice is saying, "Don't workout. You're tired today. Just rest." Accountability helps people reach their goals quicker. It's a perfectly timed kick in the pants. Everyone needs accountability and those who think they can operate without it, are doing themselves a disservice. Even the fittest of fitness professionals need accountability.

The more layers of accountability you have, the more likely you are to succeed. Be accountable to your family. Ask your husband or partner to review your food journal each day for "honesty" in reporting. Make a promise to your best friend that you'll workout together everyday this week. Find a life-coach. Hire a personal trainer. Start a blog and post your post workout thoughts, or your food journal there. Join an on-line support group like those found at where you'll find accountability and support. Set, and post your physical goals out in the open where everyone can see them. One of the best forms of cyber accountability I have ever found is at There you fill out a brief on line profile, post your picture and commit to a workout schedule. Each time you workout, you simply sign-in and your picture appears along with everyone else across the country that is working out at the same time! The site service is a free form of very effective accountability. Skip your workout and you’ll soon receive an e-mail reminding you to return to your workout schedule. It’s powerfully motivating to know there are other people logging on at the same time expecting to see you there working out along side of them.

The Holidays are a tough time for many to maintain, let alone lose weight! We are so conditioned to believe we are suppose to consume more alcohol, cookies, fudge, eggnog, stuffing, tins of popcorn, holiday candies, and fatty party trays. You don’t. Resolve to take control. You’re driving this car. You own the machine. Take care of it. You can do it. You can do it NOW!

Don’t wait until January 1st to find accountability. Get a jump-start and start today. Check out Post your picture, schedule your Turbo Jam workouts and make this the year that you LOSE weight during the Holidays. Then, when others are only learning how to use Wowy in January, you’ll not only be using it, you may be the recipient of $1,000 that will randomly be given to one lucky person who logs onto on January 1st at 10:00 am PST, and 1:00 EST. I’ll be there! Nothing would make me happier than to see a Turbo Jammer win that $1,000 prize.

So, if you’re reading this blog and plan to post your picture and use Wowy as one of your layers of accountability, please post your reply here! If you’re already using, please post your message here to encourage others to do the same.

See ya at!