Tuesday, September 25, 2007

Spousal Support

Spousal Support

Married 11 years, I know first hand the importance of a supportive spouse. Even if your partner’s healthy resolve leaves much to be desired, with the right approach you can find the support you need and improve your partnership in the process. Consider variations on these four phrases when cultivating the interpersonal support you need to reach your health and fitness goals and bring you closer in the process.

1. “I couldn’t do this without you!”: Let your partner know how important their help and support is to you. Everyone wants to feel needed. There’s nothing more important to your relationship than helping the other person feel like THEY are the center of your universe. Be careful that you don’t spend too much time gushing about all the new people or the new lifestyle you’re discovering. Make your partner understand that that he/she is always most important. Feeling better about yourself happens when you make other people feel important and needed and no where is that more important than with your significant other.

2. “Want to go for a walk with me?” Even if the likelihood of it happening is slim, frequently invite your partner to join you on a walk, a swim, bike ride or a fitness class. Let him or her to pick the workout and you might just get a ‘yes’. Ask often and ask with the intent to spend more time together, not to “change” their habits, even if ultimately that’s what happens. If Sunday morning tradition has been coffee, donuts and the paper, try establishing some new ones. No one wants to feel judged or told what to do. Make sure your first priority is spending time together and that fitness become something you share.

3. “Thank you!”: Express your appreciation for even the smallest gesture that helps you to reach your goal, even if it’s just re-arranging their schedule so you can get to your workouts. Thank your partner for not tempting you with a trip to 31 Flavors, or by eating the one food you cant resist (mine is those pink frosted animal cookies with the little tiny sprinkles) in front of you. Rather than dismissing compliments, thank your partner for noticing even the slightest change. Regularly remind your significant other how much you appreciate their help.

4. “Wanna get busy?”: Even if your partner doesn’t yet share your healthy resolve, you both profit from your commitment. Communicate the mutual benefits of fitness, including improved energy, a boost in self-esteem, a better mood, a tighter body, lower cholesterol, a boost in stamina, better health and yes, better sex!

5. “Let’s make a deal.”: Don’t expect your partner to abruptly change his/her dining habits because you are. No one likes to be forced into doing something. Most of us need to do things on our own terms and when “we” are ready. So, make a deal. Offer to do something nice (or naughty) in exchange for his/her promise to “eat in” for the next 10 days - 30 days..whatever it takes. In exchange for going on a nice long walk with you, promise to assume one of his or her normal household responsibilities.


rachel said...

This is so great... I especially love the part about going for walks... not only is it good for your health, its incredible for your relationship. You talk about things on a walk you wouldn't normally, and there is no rush or reason to not be open and honest... it's just a great bridge of communication.

CherylAnn Cavalier said...

Hi Chalene, I caught the last 15 mts. of the new infomercial: AWESOME! just like I expected. You & your husband make an beautiful couple....he looks like Josh Dummell and you're gorgeous. Looking forward to feeling better and getting back into the Jam.
Love & miss ya,

Italianskickbutt said...

Hi Chalene

I just wanted to say i think you are amazing and inspiring. I have all ur workout dvds and i hope you have more in store. I have never done a live workout but i hope one day i can. I think you kick butt.

Anonymous said...

I thought you had died because you haven't posted in such a long time. I'm so happy to see you're still alive. Keep posting...I love reading what you have to write.

Anonymous said...
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Maja Cole said...

Hi Chalene,
I m so in LOVE with your turbo Jam!!
My name is Maja and I am from Indonesia. I used to be a student here in Chicago. I graduated and met my husband and just had a baby 2 months ago. I am a very active and I love to excercise but since I had a baby I tried to find excercise dvd so I can do it from home. After so many dvds finally I found yours and i LOVE it!!!
I saw your comercial when I breastfed my baby at the middle of the night and since then you always make my day. I love every single movement and I don't know how but your excercise makes me so happy too.
Thanks to you!!!